I'm currently reading a book for my Intro to Latino Studies class at
"I have a vivid memory of an old photography: I am six years old. I
stand between my father and mother, head cocked to the right, the
toes of my flat feet gripping the ground. I hold my mother's hand.
To this day I'm not sure where I found the strength to leave the
source, the mother, disengage from my family, mi tierra, mi gente, and
all that picture stood for. I had to leave home so I could find
myself, find my own intrinsic nature buried under the personality that
had been imposed on me.
I was the first in six generations to leave the Valley, the only one
in my family to ever leave home. But I didn't leave all the parts of
me: I kept the ground of my own being. On it I walked away, taking
with me the land, the Valley,
andariega mi hija. Because I left of my own accord me dicen, ‘¿Cómo te
gusta la mala vida?’
At a very early age I had a strong sense of who I was and what I was
about and what was fair. I had a stubborn will. It tried constantly to
mobilize my soul under my own regime, to have life on my own terms no
matter how unsuitable to others they were. Terca. Even as a child I
would not obey. I was 'lazy.' Instead of ironing my younger brothers'
shirts or cleaning the cupboards, I would pass many hours studying,
reading, painting, writing. Every bit of self-faith I'd painstakingly
gathered took a beating daily. Nothing in my culture approved of me.
Había agarrado malos pasos. Something was 'wrong' with me. Estaba más
allá de la tradición.
There is a rebel in me--the Shadow-Beast. It is a part of me that
refuses to take orders from outside authorities. It refuses to take
orders from my conscious will, it threatens the sovereignty of my
rulership. It is that part of me that hates constraints of any kind,
even those self-imposed. At the least hint of limitations on my time
or space by others, it kicks out with both feet. Bolts."
Jessica Salinas
LEDA Scholar Co-hort I
Barnard College 2010
25 comments:
Thank you for sharing this with us.
-Billy-
Whoo Brownsville! This is my hometown, and everything she writes in there, I can relate to. I've been meaning to read this book...and thanks to this passage, I am going to go check it out tomorrow =) thanks for sharing!
~Jessica Gutierrez
Co-hort III
I love Anzalua. She's an amazing writer/theorist/everything scholarly and brilliant. Thank you for posting this.
does anyone can explain the Anzalua's quote"Ther is rebel in me-the Shadow-Beast" what is Shadow-Beast mean,how it relate to "otherness" in oursewes and in society?
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